The Retro Remakes 2008 Big Competition

It’s the Retro Remakes Competition 2008 !


Ian Price

Ian Price lives in a concrete fortress somewhere south of The North Pole. One of our judging panel and the finest of lookers. Ian has been known to charm even the hardest heart with a wink, a smile and a five pound note. His greatest hope for the competition is that someone will buy his collection of illegally imported animals on Ebay.

Things Ian dislikes in games:

Serious flight sims – I mean come on. They require more buttons than my keyboard has on it.
Bullet Hell shooters
Not being able to pick up weapons/ammo from dead enemies (most games)

Things Ian likes in games:

Anything made by Nintendo with the word Zelda in it
Pikmin – strange as I don’t really go for RTS games, with the exception of the first C&C
TBS – Advance Wars, XXX Tactics, X-COM. Luv um

Ian’s favourite colour of fox:

Blue foxes are infinitely superior. They taste like chicken

Ian’s specifications (not Ian personally, obviously):

AMD Athlon 64 3400 1Gb RAM
ATI Radeon 9800+ (256Mb)
DX9.0c (4.09.0000.0904)
.NET 2
Windows XP – SP2

AMD64 3200 1Gb RAM
ATI Radeon 9600 (256Mb)
DX9.0c (4.09.0000.0904)
.NET 2
Windows XP – SP2

DS – capable of running homebrew

XBox 360 with XNA CC membership.


Often mistaken for a Scotsman, GeeKay is in fact the physical representation of Joe Pasquali’s worst nightmares. As well as masquerading as a judge for our competition, GeeKay holds down a part time job as every single member of Girls Aloud. His biggest hope for the competition is to be one with the hills.

Things GeeKay dislikes In games:

Ripped media (sprites and music) that look and sound just the same as the original.
16 bit era remakes. They seldom offer anything better over the original
Teeny windowed games. We are all running huge monitors now at silly resolutions.

Things GeeKay likes in games:

Innovative ideas implemented into a game that make it that much better than the original.
Spectrum Remakes.
Music in games that still play in my head when I go to bed.

GeeKay’s favourite colour of fox:

The pink ones with boobs like Sam Fox

Geekay’s Specifications (not him personally, obviously)

Processor – AMD Dual Core 6000+ @ 3000 MHz
Graphics Card – NVidia Geforce 8800 GT 512 Mb
Sound MAudio Delta Audiophile 2496
System Memory – 2 Gig

DirectX 9c
Dot Net 2.0

Can do DS homebrew

No to Xbox 360


Famed celebrity baiter and naked internet celebrity, Oddbob is single handedly responsible for the rise of Western Civilisation, Oddbob professes to a love of pixellated kettles and refuses to acknowledge the existence of gravity. His biggest hope for the competition is to get out alive.

Things Oddbob dislikes in games:

Tedious clicking
Lack of soul

Things Oddbob likes in games:

Eye searing visual effects that burn
Shooting lots and lots of things
Lack of pretension

Oddbob’s favourite colour fox:


Oddbob’s specifications (not literally, obviously)


Vista Ultimate x64
Intel Core 2 2.67 GHz
Memory: 4GB
Radeon 2900XT
.NET 2
XNA Framework
DirectX kept up to date.


Macbook running Tiger OSX 10.4.11
Intel Core 2


Nintendo DS Homebrew enabled
Xbox 360 with XNA Creators Club


Spraydough is a professional elephant impersonator, a job which brings in a small income that he is forced to suppliment by being Lord of the Seven Dads. He likes the colour yellow and can often be found wearing ladies clothing.

Things which Spraydough dislikes in games:

Games that treat themselves TOO seriously
Games that push looks over gameplay
Anything involving dropping blocks

Things which Spraydough likes in games:

Spectrum games
Games that challenge the mind as well as the reactions
Evolving games that don’t make you play the same level over and over and over and over and….

Spraydough’s favourite colour fox:

All foxes are invisible anyway. If I had to pick a colour it would be a brown fox in a red dress

Spraydough’s specifications:

AMD 2Ghz
ATI Radeon something (TBC) 512Mb
XP Pro SP 3

.net – DX9.0c – No XNA

Nintendo DS – homebrew enabled.

Oogy Boogy

The hills are alive with the sound of Oogy. Or at least that’s what it said on the packaging when we imported him into Remakes Towers with his enormous collection of cockleshells and molasses. Oogy Boogy has been known to pick his nose and wipe out small cities with a single sneeze. His hopes for the competition are to peel more onions than he did last year.

What Oogy Boogy dislikes in games:

Forced window- or fullscreen. Let me make the decision, k?
Complex gameplay and/or controls. Don’t make me have to look at a cheatsheet to see what option/key does what.
Bad difficulty levels. Start out at high difficulty and I won’t want to get into the game. No good difficulty progression and I’ll get bored pretty quickly.

What Oogy Boogy really likes in games:

Humor. It’s a game, it doesn’t have to be serious!
Turn based Strategy. There’s just not enough of them.
Arcade-style games. Let me play play play and let the levels get harder harder harder (but never impossible).

Oogy Boogy’s favourite colour fox:

Blue with purple polka-dots.

Oogy Boogy’s specifications:

CPU: Intel Celeron D, 3.33 Ghz.
GFX: Ati Radeon XPress 200 (intergrated).
MEM: 1.5 Gigabytes.
OS: Windows XP Media Center, Service Pack 3

NET: Yes.
XNA: No.
DX: 9.0c

Nintendo DS – homebrew enabled.


Written by RobF

August 25, 2008 at 9:36 am

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